3 posts tagged “friends”
Every now and then we all need a good ego boost. I'm back in the home state for a long weekend, attending a workshop at Yale on Monday.
I needed to get out of the house this afternoon, so I went over to one of the malls. I walked into Williams-Sonoma and who should be working there but my boss's boss from my old insurance company job. As soon as I saw her I remembered someone had emailed me that she works there now. It was SO great to see her! When I left the insurance company I was pretty sure I had everyone's support. But to have Mary come right out and tell me today that I did the right thing by leaving, was just fabulous! We talked about how we miss the people, but not the stress of the job. We agreed that we didn't realize how bad it had been until we left. Though we didn't chat for long, It was so wonderful to be able to talk openly with her about the situation. She worked for the company for most of her 30 year career. At what turned out to be her final performance review, the woman Mary was reporting to told her she didn't have leadership skills. As if! Reviews are given on a scale of 5, with 1 being the best. Mary was given a 4. Unbelievable, though it is a story I have heard many times in the past few years.
I certainly made some very good friends at my old job. It always hurts when I hear how horribly upper management has been treating them over the past few years. By the same token I am always glad to learn of others who are able to find happiness once they leave Asylum Ave (seriously, that is the street we worked on).
Every now and then I spend some time Googling friends I haven't seen/heard from in a while. This afternoon the target of my search was someone who can best be described as an ex-boyfriend. Surprise! I found his wedding pictures. Despite all my issues with people getting married, I found myself feeling nothing less than happy for him. He is practically glowing in the photos. I never, ever, saw him smile like that. When mutual friends of ours got married about 6 years ago, "Boy" was one of the groomsmen. Due to his countenance in a photo of the entire wedding party, he was nicknamed "The Undertaker". If his bride can make him smile like that, she must truly be the one for him.
"Boy" and I were never meant to be. It was quite clear to me, but he was so desperate to be in a relationship that he ignored the fact I was just using him for free meals and movie tickets (he always insisted on paying for everything, which worked for me). "Boy" preferred the chain restaurants, and was always noticeably uncomfortable when I chose something more upscale. There were very few topics we could discuss, and we pretty much had the same conversation every time we went out. He likes the military and voted for Bush in 2004 (under my influence he voted for Gore in '00, but later, as the chads hung, became disappointed with his decision). A few years ago he was contemplating joining the NRA so he could participate in some sort of rifle competition. As I said, we were not meant to be.
There were times in the past two years that I wondered if he were silly enough to be waiting around for me to move back to CT so we could be together. I am incredibly relieved to know that he wasn't. I'm a little disappointed that he didn't tell me about the wedding, he just ignored my emails for the past year. But judging by the photos - their reception was in a place I would never step foot - "Boy" found someone who is a great fit for him, and that is all you ever want for your friends, right?
I met up with a friend on Friday morning, and brought the book along with me. Whenever I meet up with her I am routinely 10-15 minutes early, and she is consistently 5-10 min. late. I've learned to bring entertainment. She saw I was carrying a book, and asked what I was reading. We email often, but had not discussed books in quite a while. Turns out she has also read The Lost. I had thought our tastes in literature were fairly different, so this was a pleasant surprise. It also parallels the surprises and coincidences in the book. We agreed that it was difficult to read, and it was this friend who pressed me to keep on going. I thought of her as I read: "this is why, years after I ceased to be her student, formally speaking, years after she had helped me through my thesis on Greek tragedy, I was still learning from her, still being pushed to see the problem as the solution" (p. 284). A thesis on Greek tragedy was not what this friend helped me through, but in more ways than one she is my Froma. I love her for it, and am so glad she continues to be part of my life and continues to inspire me to learn and grow.
